The last couple of weeks have been very challenging for me. I have embarked on a personal journey and whilst I am trying to stay true to myself, life has decided to throw me a few curveballs. When those around you are going through tough times or when your close relationships are being threatened in any way, it becomes almost impossible to remain focussed and stay on course.
When we are fighting our own internal battles it can sometimes be very difficult to remain empathetic to the needs of others and love them well.
I have pondered this to a great extent in recent weeks and have come to the realisation that in order to love well, courage is required. In times of adversity and when faced with unexpected challenges, only the emotionally fit are able to continue to love well. it means having the courage to continue loving without expecting anything in return. This means being able to let go of what you want the outcome to be, in terms of your interaction with the people you love.
When life spirals out of control, it is important to focus on finding the courage to love yourself more. In the absence self-love, it is much easier to find fault with others, blame or break them down. This type of behaviour is controlling and leads to insecurity in relationships. When we love ourselves more, we become more aware of how we treat others. We become more sensitive to their needs and we shoe more respect in the way we love.
You have to have courage to love somebody. Because you risk everything. Everything. – Maya Angelou
Relationships with family, friends, children and your partner are emotional connections, which at times, will test your personal limits. These relationships are the ones worth fighting for and in order for them to thrive, you have to love courageously.
The courage to love requires empathy, compassion, support and understanding. It also requires a level of tough-love, establishing clear boundaries and setting limits. It is important for you to have an awareness of what you personal boundaries are and what you will allow in your life. You have to be able to stand your ground, know what your personal values are and how far you will allow your personal limits to be pushed. I you are not clear about this, you are opening yourself up to manipulation, unhealthy compromise, emotional abuse, loss of self-respect and self-worth.
There is something very special and powerful in loving and believing in someone. When someone is that important to you, maybe it’s time to make them feel safe and secure in their relationship with you, by paying closer attention to some of the following, without expecting anything in return. That is what it means to have the courage to love and to know when love is all you have to give.
- Always be honest
- Be a forgiving person
- Let them know that they can count on your support
- Celebrate their high’s but make sure they know without a doubt that you will not abandon them at their lowest points
- Let them know and feel that they are enough on every level
- Be patient
- Be gentle
- Be kind
- Express approval
- Practice compassion but practice tough-love when needed
- Dont quit on them and don’t let them quit on themselves
- Acknowledge their emotions
- Be encouraging
- Be attentive
- Love them through the difficult times
One of the most courageous ways to show love is when you have to stand by and love someone from the sidelines. When you feel powerless in the midst of a situation, the best thing to do is to make sure that they know you are within their reach and that you will be there when they need you. In the meantime, focus on your own life. Fill your days with the things which brings you joy and fulfilment. Pursue your passion.
Love should never be anything other than love. We all want and need someone to care about us and love us. Love yourself enough so that your cup overflows with love for those who need you.
Do you have the courage to love?
Please leave your comments, I would love to hear from you.